Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Week Four Post: Chapter 10
Relational maintenence has always been a focus in my college career. I have written many papers on relationships including divorce, relational maintenence, and the affects a parents relationship has on kids. In chapter ten, the authors cited four stratagies for relational maintenence including positivity, openness, assurances, social networks, and sharing tasks. Positivity is being cheerful, and courteos and the way I think about it, you should be trying to make yourself someone people like to be around. The second strategy is openness and refers to what couples talk about. My boyfriend and I have a pact where we don't play games so everything we say is really how we feel, no secrets or tricks. The third strategy is assurances, which are good to really make sure both parties know that they are still loved and appreciated after however long. Social networks is about the importance of friends and family time as well as couple time. Finding that balance is really important. Lastly, sharing tasks is both couples performing the same amount of work and effort in the relationship.
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3 comments:
Hi Nicciri,
Your comments regarding the strategy of openness sit well with me. Way too many people play games and put up fronts, which is completely pointless, because your true self is going to come out eventually. I think openness is significantly important for maintaining positive, healthy relationships. Kuddos to you and your boyfriend for agreeing to be open with each other. My hubby and I agreed to do the same thing on our first date.
I think it's interesting that a lot of us blogged about this particular concept. I, too, blogged about relational maintenance. However, I think it's good, because that means that we are all looking to make the best and most out of our relationships. (: I liked how you said that being positive is "being someone that people like to be around". I think that this is very well-put, and when I am trying to be positive, I will try to see it in this light. So, thank you. (: Also, I like that you and your boyfriend have a pact to say how you truly feel - games are ridiculous!
I totally agree with your comment on finding a balance. I am not a big fan of those people who decide to act different in front of other people or change how they act just due to the difference in crowd. A person should act as the person they are all the time and not change because of the environment. Also being open with your partner is something that is big for me, i am not sure if anyone else feels this way but i feel that if you are hiding something or if you "forget" to say something it counts as lying in some phase pf the word. trust and communication is huge for me.
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