Monday, June 9, 2008
Week 2 Blog
In this week's reading, there were a lot of interesting segments that really caught my attention, however there was only one that seemed blog-worthy. In communications, interpersonal has always been my niche. I think mostly because romantic relationships are one of my favorite things to study. My parents divorced when I was younger, as is the case with most of the American population, and I find it very intriguing to research things that make marriages work, and things that don't. That's why, when I read chapter four and the section on marriage, I felt inspired to write. The author states that a "common problem found among unhappy couples is the inability or unwillingness of husbands and wives to take the other's perspective when listening." Their are two different models of listening in this segment, the first being the deficit model and the second is the relational model. The deficit model describes how poor listening skills can have a negative affect on a relationship. For example, if a husband doesn't listen when his wife is venting abut a hard day, it can come off like he doesn't care. The relational model is basically listening with a friend romantic partner, or relative and as the author states, is "important to the continuity of a relationship". So for all you married folks out there, take a lesson from the book this week and listen to your husbands and wives...could help your relationship.
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3 comments:
Hi, Nicole.
I am sorry to hear that your parents were divorced.
Although my parents are not divorced, they argue and fought with each other very often. Therefore, I think I can understand how listening skills are important in marriage.
I also agree with you that married couples should take the lesson from this week's reading. Furthermore, I believe that this lesson is not just for married couples; it is for whoever is in a relationship. For instance, I am not married, but I try my best to take my boyfriend's perspective and listen to him because I would like to maintain the harmony in our relationship. I also think listening and the willingness of take perspectives are equally important in friendships or other relationships besides romantic relationships.
I think you made an important point in your blog entry, and this week’s reading about marriage may help us be more aware about what we need to do and what skills we should obtain to maintain a good relationship.
Hey Nicole,
The thing I found interesting about that was how the book mentioned two things. One is what you said, that a lot of relationships do not last because the partners do not empathize with the other when listening, but the other thing the book said was that relationships do not work when the partners do not listen to each other equally, as in one is a better listener than the other.
So obviously, it works best if both partners are great listeners, but it made me wonder, which group stands a better chance, one where one person is a good listener and the other is not? Or the group with both bad listeners, because at least it is even that way. Something to ponder.. or maybe test in graduate school!
-Aleks
Hey Nicole! I'm sorry to hear that your parents divorced. Although my parents are not divorced, I do realize that communication is extremely important. I can recall a time about 15 years ago when my parents were very very close to divorcing and what it came down to was my dad needing to learn how to communicate what he was feeling with my mom so that she could understand what makes him frustrated and what makes him happy. I think because people change so much over the course of a marriage it's absolutely important to keep the lines of communication open and positive, as well as listening effectively to one another. You make a great point, "So for all you married folks out there, take a lesson from the book this week and listen to your husbands and wives...could help your relationship." You're absolutely right. :)
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