Week Five Post: Chapter 15

There was a section in chapter fifteen that when I read it, felt like an exact explanation of my relationship with my parents. Under the section "Turning points in family relationships", there is a term gendered closeness perspective. What this basically says is that women express affection through hugging, kissingm and saying "I love you." Men on the other hand, show it through shared actiities and financial support. This is exactly how my parents are. My mom and I are very open about saying I love you, whereas my dad and I never say that. My dad on the other hand likes to fix my car for me and give me money for gas. The message is still very clear in both sides, just expressed quite differently.

Week Five Blog: Chapter 15

The topic that I’d like to share with my classmates this week is on patronizing speech. In our textbook it is defined as the use of exaggerated intonation, high pitch, less respectful terms of address (ie honey, sweetie), infintalizing content, and emotional tone as well as overparenting and demeaning non verbal behavior. I thihnk we have all experienced this and I have one examples that I can share. One is a work reference. There is this girl in my department at work that calls everyone “honey” even if they are older or higher in status than her. I think that she thinks it is endearing but it really isn’t, it’s patronizing and makes you feel lower than her somehow.

Week Five Post: Chapter 13

The concept that stuck with me in chapter 13 was the one of intrapsychic conflict. This is when a person experiences internal conflict without expressing disagreement with others. I think that everyone can relate to this concept because to me it sounds like the definition of thinking. Everyone thinks about their problems, hopes, fears and dreams. Intrapsychic conflict is just the process that happens internally, before you tell anyone. The book uses breaking up as an example because you usually think about the breakup before bringing it up to your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Week Five Post: Chapter 12

One thing that really caught my attention in this weeks reading was the section on arousal management goals in chapter 12. This goal focuses on avoiding anxiety and feeling comfortable and I think it is something we can all relate to. I can relate it to discussions with my roommate in regards to bills/rent/moving etc. We have been best friends since the fourth grade, but we had to learn a whole new dynamic when we became roommates. Talk that used to be easy and flowing became halted and tentative. Talking about how to split the rent per the room size, and if we really need the air conditioner on overnight can become a really tense and high anxiety situation and we both have to work very hard to manage the anxiety we feel. We definitely haven’t figured it out after 3 years, but I can definitely say we try very hard at arousal management.

Week Four Post: Lecture Four

In Lecture 4, there is a section on relational dialects which refers to the independence and interdependence of people. The example used referred to friends but I wonder if the same concept could be applied to romantic relationships as well as the non romantic ones. I think it is very important to find a balance when your in a relationship. I always hated that saying, “he’s my other half” because I fully believe that when people are in a relationship, they should be two whole people bringing their own personalities to the relationship, not depending on each other to feel “whole”.

Week Four Post: Chapter 11

In this post, I wanted to discuss a section in chapter 11 on tests of statistical significance. A test of statistical significance is based on sampling logic and provides the best single estimate of a specific phenomena. There are parts of these tests which include statistical significance and level of significance. Statistical significance of a relationship observed in a set of sample data and is expressed in terms of probabilities. Level of significance is derived from a logical model in which severl samples drawn from a given population.

Week Four Post: Chapter 10

Relational maintenence has always been a focus in my college career. I have written many papers on relationships including divorce, relational maintenence, and the affects a parents relationship has on kids. In chapter ten, the authors cited four stratagies for relational maintenence including positivity, openness, assurances, social networks, and sharing tasks. Positivity is being cheerful, and courteos and the way I think about it, you should be trying to make yourself someone people like to be around. The second strategy is openness and refers to what couples talk about. My boyfriend and I have a pact where we don't play games so everything we say is really how we feel, no secrets or tricks. The third strategy is assurances, which are good to really make sure both parties know that they are still loved and appreciated after however long. Social networks is about the importance of friends and family time as well as couple time. Finding that balance is really important. Lastly, sharing tasks is both couples performing the same amount of work and effort in the relationship.

Week Four Post: Chapter 9

One part of this weeks reading that interested me was the stages of relational escalation. The authors of the text offer five stages of relational escalation. The first step is initiating which one could consider as a man asking a woman for her phone number. The second stage is experimenting, which includes gathering information in detail about the person, such as "when is your birthday?" and "Are you a vegetarian?" The third stage is intensifying, which is just a more extreme version of experimenting, like learning how a person thinks and reading body language. The fourth stage is integrating, which is when the two people become more similar as they discover their partner, and their own likes and dislikes. The last stage is bonding which is something that proclaims the two people's affecion, like a wedding.

Week Three Post: Lecture#3

In reading the week three lecture, the most interesting section to me was on chapter eight, defending the self. In this section, it discusses ways that people try to protect the way other people perceive them. A lot of people will say things about how they don't care what people think and some mean it, most don't. There are many different parts to impression management, that includes accounts, facework, and equivocation. Accounts are excuses or justifications made to paron yourself from poor behavoir. Facework is a strategy people use to present themselves to others, such as looking a certain way, or like a certain type of person. Equivocation involves working with others to present yourself a certain way.

Week Three Post: Chapter Eight

In chapter eight’s reading, I thought the section on justification was the most interesting. Justification is when a person doesn’t admit that something was wrong and does not take responsibility. Instead, they try to claim that there were positive affects of the incident. The author provides a few examples, one of which being “I was talking to my ex, but nothing happened so it’s fine.” This is an example of direct minimization justification which is downplaying the incident, like trying to brush it off.

Another example was “I stopped by the hospital to visit my father” as an excuse for being late. This is an example of principled justification which seems to me a sort of “for the greater good” kind of thing. Justifications like this are difficult to be upset about, because if they are valid, who could be mad at someone for being late because they had to visit someone in the hospital?

Week Three Post: Chapter Seven

In chapter seven, I really felt that the concept of sex differences was hit right on the nail by the authors. Sex differences is listed under factors affecting the manner of self-disclosure and the points the authors bring up really rang true for me, and probably everyone who read it. Everybody knows that females like to talk to each other, it’s bonding and advice and a shared sense of womanhood and girls love that sort of thing! My boyfriend once said that a good party has more girls than guys because both guys and girls, like talking to girls. And it’s totally true! The author’s state that women tend to place prerequisites on people they share their feelings with, for example people who are trustworthy and discreet. Men on the other hand, use a status-assertive disclosure style which hides weakness and emphasizes successes. Both of these are really interesting factors and I encourage everyone to think about that next time their in a mixed setting.

Week Three Post: Chapter Six

This week, I thought the concept of ingratiation in chapter six was really interesting, probably because we all know the types of people that showcase these behaviors. There are two types of ingratiation, authentic and illicit. Authentic ingratiation occurs when a person’s primary motivation is to meet the demands of the situation and the desire to be liked, though important, is secondary to other goals. Illicit ingratiation on the other hand is targeted solely at getting something from another person and occurs when people act friendly because they want to attain some instrumental goal, such as a donation or a favor. In everyday life, we often call these type of people “fake.”

A good example of ingratiation, for those of us that like reality tv, are the types of people that are on those shows. There is always someone who says things like “I am not here to make friends, I am here to win.” Those people would be considered authentic ingratiators. The people who are trying to create alliances and who may be sneaky and two faced would be considered illicit ingratiators.

Week 2 Post

In chapter 14, Spitzberg and Cupach describe adaptability as the ability to change behavoirs and goals to meet the needs of an interaction. I think that this really is an important part of communication, and perhaps why a lot of people with poor communication adaptability come off as "weird". When you are talking to someone and what they are saying is irrelevant or not appropriate for the time or place, poor communication adaptability is probably to blame. A good example of this is when young people are with parents, or some older group of people, and sya inappropriate things or use swear words that can offend adults. Another example would be someone who talks about things that are completely irrelevant to the group, especially when they do it in excess.

Week 2 Post

One reason that I wanted to explore the field of interpersonal communication was so that I could argue better. Chapter 14 mentions a few things along those lines, and the one that really caught my attention was communication apprehension. This is defined as having high levels of anxiety over how they may be evaluated in a given situation or how they might behave. I have definitely experienced this before because when I was having relationship problems, I stopped talking about it to my best friend because I felt like she was going to judge me. This only made the situation worse because I didn’t have anyone to talk to.

Week 2 Blog

Intercultural communication is another of my favorite focuses in the communication major. My boyfriend Dan is originally from Japan, and I was born and raised right here in California. Our perspectives on life and all the aspects of it differ so much and I think a lot of it is based on our schemata which the text defines as knowledge structures that people develop out of their personal experiences to use towards interpretating all sorts of communication. A very simple example I can think of is our childhood differences. For me, I grew up with barbies, skip it's, Charlotte's Web, and G.I. Joe. As a boy growing up in Japan, Dan didn't know any of those things and instead has memories of different toys (mostly electronic games). Another example of our different schemata's includes our difference of sex. As a woman, walking around downtown San Jose at night scares me. Experience has taught me that while most people are safe, it isn't a good idea to put on a mini skirt, get drunk, and hang out in dark parking lots. Dan on the other hand, has no such fear or nervousness about being out and about by himself. All these things influence how we communicate with each other, and with other people. While I can use childhood memories that I share with other Americans to have a conversation, or use as an example, Dan must think of different ways to understand someone's story about their favorite childhood toys in a comparative manner.

Week 2 Blog

In this week's reading, there were a lot of interesting segments that really caught my attention, however there was only one that seemed blog-worthy. In communications, interpersonal has always been my niche. I think mostly because romantic relationships are one of my favorite things to study. My parents divorced when I was younger, as is the case with most of the American population, and I find it very intriguing to research things that make marriages work, and things that don't. That's why, when I read chapter four and the section on marriage, I felt inspired to write. The author states that a "common problem found among unhappy couples is the inability or unwillingness of husbands and wives to take the other's perspective when listening." Their are two different models of listening in this segment, the first being the deficit model and the second is the relational model. The deficit model describes how poor listening skills can have a negative affect on a relationship. For example, if a husband doesn't listen when his wife is venting abut a hard day, it can come off like he doesn't care. The relational model is basically listening with a friend romantic partner, or relative and as the author states, is "important to the continuity of a relationship". So for all you married folks out there, take a lesson from the book this week and listen to your husbands and wives...could help your relationship.

Week 1 Blog

Hello Everyone!

My name is Nicole and I am a communications major, minoring in justice studies. I work full time and take 12 unit semesters, so while things are busy, I should graduate next Spring. I take as many online classes as I can, and am usually on campus twice a week. That's a little about me, good luck to everyone this Summer!

One concept that interested me in this weeks readings was the section on proxemics. Proxemics refers to the use of personal space when communicating with others. Everyone is aware of their personal space and its interesting to see how that differs from culture to culture and person to person. I thought the most interesting part of the proxemics was that there are four physical distance zones.