Week Five Post: Chapter 15

There was a section in chapter fifteen that when I read it, felt like an exact explanation of my relationship with my parents. Under the section "Turning points in family relationships", there is a term gendered closeness perspective. What this basically says is that women express affection through hugging, kissingm and saying "I love you." Men on the other hand, show it through shared actiities and financial support. This is exactly how my parents are. My mom and I are very open about saying I love you, whereas my dad and I never say that. My dad on the other hand likes to fix my car for me and give me money for gas. The message is still very clear in both sides, just expressed quite differently.

Week Five Blog: Chapter 15

The topic that I’d like to share with my classmates this week is on patronizing speech. In our textbook it is defined as the use of exaggerated intonation, high pitch, less respectful terms of address (ie honey, sweetie), infintalizing content, and emotional tone as well as overparenting and demeaning non verbal behavior. I thihnk we have all experienced this and I have one examples that I can share. One is a work reference. There is this girl in my department at work that calls everyone “honey” even if they are older or higher in status than her. I think that she thinks it is endearing but it really isn’t, it’s patronizing and makes you feel lower than her somehow.

Week Five Post: Chapter 13

The concept that stuck with me in chapter 13 was the one of intrapsychic conflict. This is when a person experiences internal conflict without expressing disagreement with others. I think that everyone can relate to this concept because to me it sounds like the definition of thinking. Everyone thinks about their problems, hopes, fears and dreams. Intrapsychic conflict is just the process that happens internally, before you tell anyone. The book uses breaking up as an example because you usually think about the breakup before bringing it up to your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Week Five Post: Chapter 12

One thing that really caught my attention in this weeks reading was the section on arousal management goals in chapter 12. This goal focuses on avoiding anxiety and feeling comfortable and I think it is something we can all relate to. I can relate it to discussions with my roommate in regards to bills/rent/moving etc. We have been best friends since the fourth grade, but we had to learn a whole new dynamic when we became roommates. Talk that used to be easy and flowing became halted and tentative. Talking about how to split the rent per the room size, and if we really need the air conditioner on overnight can become a really tense and high anxiety situation and we both have to work very hard to manage the anxiety we feel. We definitely haven’t figured it out after 3 years, but I can definitely say we try very hard at arousal management.

Week Four Post: Lecture Four

In Lecture 4, there is a section on relational dialects which refers to the independence and interdependence of people. The example used referred to friends but I wonder if the same concept could be applied to romantic relationships as well as the non romantic ones. I think it is very important to find a balance when your in a relationship. I always hated that saying, “he’s my other half” because I fully believe that when people are in a relationship, they should be two whole people bringing their own personalities to the relationship, not depending on each other to feel “whole”.

Week Four Post: Chapter 11

In this post, I wanted to discuss a section in chapter 11 on tests of statistical significance. A test of statistical significance is based on sampling logic and provides the best single estimate of a specific phenomena. There are parts of these tests which include statistical significance and level of significance. Statistical significance of a relationship observed in a set of sample data and is expressed in terms of probabilities. Level of significance is derived from a logical model in which severl samples drawn from a given population.

Week Four Post: Chapter 10

Relational maintenence has always been a focus in my college career. I have written many papers on relationships including divorce, relational maintenence, and the affects a parents relationship has on kids. In chapter ten, the authors cited four stratagies for relational maintenence including positivity, openness, assurances, social networks, and sharing tasks. Positivity is being cheerful, and courteos and the way I think about it, you should be trying to make yourself someone people like to be around. The second strategy is openness and refers to what couples talk about. My boyfriend and I have a pact where we don't play games so everything we say is really how we feel, no secrets or tricks. The third strategy is assurances, which are good to really make sure both parties know that they are still loved and appreciated after however long. Social networks is about the importance of friends and family time as well as couple time. Finding that balance is really important. Lastly, sharing tasks is both couples performing the same amount of work and effort in the relationship.